The choice. To doubt or not?

After a few days of thinking over my problem, and the worlds problem with love, I have yet to reach a solid conclusion but I think I'm on track. My last blog ended in a disturbing way from my part. But this is nothing to fear, the heart plays tricks on us all the time. It is enough to say that you have to think twice and say once. I thought twice, and many times over and over again so I must admit those feelings were not false and were not a lonely mans way to escape his troublesome days. Those feelings just stated a mans instant attraction, that could not be tamed by reason and futile explanations.
I've reached the conclusion that love is like the rain. It clouds the judgment and your sences but it kisses you with small feelings of extazy and happiness. The summer rain is like that feeling of eternal love. Those drops wash away the fears and cool your mind but what happens when the clouds skater and the rain goes away? What does the sun bring? Does it bring joy or does it make you see the truth?
The sun wont make you happy it will just blind you with its power and make you loose sight of what you once called love! The sun doesn't come as the destroyer of love but as that which makes you see the imperfections that love has to offer. The truth that love isn't as good as most of the people see it. If you have read all of my recent posts you can tell that I'm a fighter for what the meaning of love stands for. My position on love will not change but doubts have to appear. They have to! We have to doubt love. Because if we don't the sun will blind us so badly that you will never know when the rain will return or what to feel when rain drops touch you.
I've started doubting it. Will you? Will a married couple of 30 years doubt their love? Do they even know that love exists? Most of them don't and thats because they never doubted it. I'm doubting it now hopping to find answers but eventually all that I'll find is more love. This will repeat again and again and again. Every time the sun comes out it will make me doubt my feelings and place ration above all.

Back from the old an ready with the new...

I'm sorry I misled my readers with the other addresses that I keep directing you to.
But I'm here to say that I will never leave Blogger again as this is one of the best blogging platforms on the web. And I don't think I will ever stop writing every week about my feelings and thoughts. I hope this promise keeps you coming back.
I actually came back because I finished my exam period with a great success. I will dedicate my life to being a civil engineer, but that doesn't mean I won't have my passions to keep me entertained when I feel down. I'm thinking of attending another college, clothing designer college but I don't know how far I'll go with this idea.
My other passions will keep me alive too. Like poetry or music. I recently discovered that I have a craving for classical music like Vivaldi, Chopin or Bach. I will keep feeding my desires with new music and the passions, but the one passion that will never leave me is philosophy. But not the understanding and recognition of what ancient philosophers had to say but what I think and what I contemplate every day. Of course the questions that I keep on trying to answer will be posted on this blog along with my analysis.
I know that some of these words may conflict with some things I said in previous posts but time and events can change a man in the most profound ways. Now while the streets outside my windows are caressed by the gentle touch of the falling rain drops I wonder if love is what we think it is. Why do we love? Because we need to feel secure? Because we can't bare to be alone? Is love the escape that people take when they need refuge from loneliness? Or is love some divine feeling that was given to us by God? Is physical and mental attraction that powerful to make us want a person with us at all time? Or do the people that fall in love actually think that person next to them is the right one?
I want to deeply discuss these questions and this problem... These questions and troubling thoughts popped in my mind after I recently meet someone which made me feel, perfection may exist looking through the right eyes...